‘Anora,’ I’m not mad at your best picture win at Oscars. I’m just disappointed.

Sometimes, Oscars best picture winners make sense to me. Other times, there’s an “Anora.”

Sean Baker’s indie romantic dramedy conquered Sunday’s 97th Academy Awards ceremony, winning five honors including best picture and actress. Ever since it took home the Palme d’Or from Cannes last year and became a film festival favorite for many critics last fall, pundits touted it as an Oscar front-runner. Though there were a couple of Screen Actors Guild and British Academy Film Awards zigs and zags in there, “Anora” did finally conquer all.

And I still don’t quite understand why.

If I were an Oscar voter, “Anora” would have ranked ninth out of 10 on my preferential ballot. (Sorry, “Wicked.”) It was a good movie, sure, but seemed lightweight when compared to the excellent papal thriller “Conclave” or the awesome historical epic “The Brutalist” or the electric music biopic “A Complete Unknown” or the actually-innovative-for-a-change “Nickel Boys.”

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In fact, I can recall when I first wondered why all this hubbub: During the very nude first 20 strip-club minutes of “Anora.” For those who had never heard of the R-rated film before Sunday or were waiting for it to stream (Hulu, March 17!), it stars best actress winner Mikey Madison as a brassy Brooklyn exotic dancer named Ani who, because she can speak Russian, is tasked with getting to know Vanya (Mark Eydelshteyn), an oligarch’s son.

Even though Vanya is a complete man-child and our girl Ani can do way better, he pays her to hang out with him (read: sex) and on a Las Vegas trip, they elope. They get back to his Brighton Beach mansion, Vanya’s parents are coming to America because they aren’t pleased, and a bunch of goons like good-hearted Igor (Yura Borisov) try to keep Ani in check when Vanya bails on his new wife.

So, Gen Z “Pretty Woman” then turns into a screwball comedy trip through Manhattan trying to find Vanya, but “Anora” finally gets Oscar-y good in the final act. Ani butts heads with Vanya’s forceful mom and you start to realize this Cinderella romance may end very badly. There’s one bittersweet moment between Igor and Ani, who desperately wants an emotional connection instead of a sexual one, that makes the movie.

Here’s the thing: For me, Borisov is the best part of the entire flick, giving a supporting character surprising depth and magnetic energy. But does he equal a best picture victory? Nah. Does Madison? Nope. She’s good but, come on now, she’s no Demi Moore just going ballistic in “The Substance.” 

At the same time, “Anora” is representative of the positive direction the Academy has been going in recent years. Conventional Oscar movies like “Conclave” and “The Brutalist,” or even last year’s best picture “Oppenheimer,” will always be there on Academy Awards night. But going back to “Moonlight” taking down “La La Land” in 2017, niche winners like “Everything Everywhere All at Once,” “Parasite,” “CODA” and “Nomadland” are thankfully more the rule than the exception. It’s an example of how international and diverse the Academy voting body has grown since the days of #OscarsSoWhite.

Are they to the point of honoring a bonkers body-horror flick like “The Substance,” a movie with substance that talks about aging in Hollywood and the critical way we look at our superficial selves? Well, no, because that would be groundbreaking. (It’s not lost on anybody paying attention that Oscar night pretty much turned out to be “The Substance” come to life, with the older actress getting upended by the younger model.)

As much as things have changed, Oscar is gonna Oscar. We’re going to get a “Crash” or a “Green Book” every so often, and “Anora” is a good pick comparatively to those. All we can do is love the movies we love (and champion the heck out of them), root for our favorites to maybe get a statue at the end of the night, but not get too bent out of shape if they lose. They say don’t go to bed angry, which I kind of did, but I’m feeling better.

If it leads to a “Substance” one day standing triumphant on stage when the Oscar credits roll, then the occasional “Anora” seems bearable.

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